The Pillowman by Martin McDonagh is a good play,
catch it.

life is entertaining.

am still alive at 12:37 AM



lesser words, less being spoken, lesser understanding?

i don't dislike praises,
i mean no one does right?
but it's assumptions in advance, praise arising from spectulation or goodwill, or whatever you call it,
manifested in forms of hope, teasing, and jokes, that get me.
what is lost in laughters -- me, myself.
what is exchanged? entertainment? amusement?
maybe it's time, time to consider me a human being.
but then again, maybe it would be easier for me to devise a way around it
instead of trying to change the world
because there might be some selfishness in this desire,
which happens to be of a long history too.
it's so fun huh, i'll just smile anyway right.

consider that an exaggeration.
or not.

am still alive at 7:10 AM



maybe it's the need to dust this site,
talk about societal conventions, never mind.
i see that life is always high then low, or vice versa
so does blogging allow the readers to satisfy their hunger for
other people's highs (or lows),
or that they need to see outside their world sometimes?
Anyways, these few weeks had been interesting,
and how the hell did i survive it anyhows.
and i learnt that,
i. we need to be strong for others
ii. we need to be strong for ourselves
iii. there's a need to plan for the future if you are an agenda-freak
iv. our brains have the possibility of getting fried
v. it's good to have time for yourself once in a while
vi. retail therapy is a...therapy
vii. sleep is vital, as always
viii. i need to see people, like units
ix. if you cannot understand something, you don't have to try so hard

i must believe there's time and there's always this possibility that november remains far enough.
i can watch teevee till forever and everrrr
ps. class outing is fun
psssssssss. school starts tomorrow.

am still alive at 7:58 AM



one cannot be physically and mentally unwell to function
because one will...
i have no idea what will happen.
Anyhows, holidays are hardly opportunities to catch up anymore,
catch up with friends and family that is.
it's pretty much time for me to look at others now,
oh well, maybe after this ordeal..
or the next, or after the last one,
i'll try.
darn, if i'm not lagging too far back in all the relationships.

all i need is four walls, good music, papers and the will to live; it's not that hard.

am still alive at 12:57 AM



let me get adjusted
i think i may be able to navigate in the dark
because i don't know what i will inflict upon myself
if i can't.
that's the way
i may live after all.

am still alive at 6:20 AM



there's like this looming cloud above
and you've been in the shadows for days
you thought you should just shrivel up and die
but life isn't just a simple game
occasionally there will be some light shining through
so you regain hope, so you can stand again
you breathe you smile you do all that you can
and that's when the storm's back
there you go, it's back to square one
this vicious cycle never ceases (have i mentioned that
This is Life?) it's okay, after all many survived.
wait a minute, no one survives Life.
great, let me just curl up in one corner till the sky clears up again.

am still alive at 7:13 AM