lesser words, less being spoken, lesser understanding?

i don't dislike praises,
i mean no one does right?
but it's assumptions in advance, praise arising from spectulation or goodwill, or whatever you call it,
manifested in forms of hope, teasing, and jokes, that get me.
what is lost in laughters -- me, myself.
what is exchanged? entertainment? amusement?
maybe it's time, time to consider me a human being.
but then again, maybe it would be easier for me to devise a way around it
instead of trying to change the world
because there might be some selfishness in this desire,
which happens to be of a long history too.
it's so fun huh, i'll just smile anyway right.

consider that an exaggeration.
or not.

am still alive at 7:10 AM