trudging through this freaking cobweb-ed space
i shall rant to myself
it's another new year (damn, nineteen reads old)
it's so hard to actually do a reflection on 2008,
the mind just get stuck when you have the intention to remember, to reminisce or whatever
my memories flow better at random times
i guess the main gist of it, i would never regret going to saint andrews
i love the happy, crazy moments
and i generally don't remember all the nasty ones (or try not to)
i meet amazing people, all different and whether we eventually get along or cease to talk,
it's still an awesome experience.
i don't deny frustrations, alevels isn't easy and i think the fatigue and emoness i display or anyone displays (in fact, i think everyone had this moment at least once during the course of jc life haha) are like shit.
all the same, being optimistic (yeah, like that sounds like me haha), it says alot about us jc kids who eventually survived.
yes i know, the academic verdict is still pending and i refrain from dwelling further or i freak myself out.
at least i think, emotionally or mentally there was development for me (i hope), even though i never felt so helpless or hopeless in the course of study before.
i do remember a teacher saying she believes in me, wow i guess that helps abit
even though that wouldnt help me ace anything really
at least i know at that moment, someone has more faith in me than me myself
of course there are my beloved friends
some i know i can count on, all i expressed by what means i can
i know i will miss the school days, and i will imagine doing the same (but boring no more) routine because although i may not realise it before, the somewhat rigid schedule assigns certain sense of security and assurance. i dont worry about what i may encounter, because at a specific time, at a specific place, specific people will be there after all.
know what i mean?

of course, old friends never cease to disappear
we do crazy stuff at the end of the year
the immediate memory would be the stormy night cycling
the red rain is intimidating and mesmerizing at the same time
i think we are insane,
and boy, do i love every minute of it haha
we're tight.

resolution?
well, i will figure out along the way
may all the important things in my life stay important
and all that i want to be important become important
if that makes sense to anyone but me

that is one long rant.

am still alive at 5:07 AM